Talk:Rilien Alva/@comment-4666155-20130527044403
Oh boy. Okay, let's see, let's see. -starts fishing into pockets, pulling out a flashcard- HERE WE GO, introductions. Hello, I'm your friendly neighborhood Aha, but you can call me Noire or Darkrai, I frankly prefer the latter. Anyway, okay, it would appear your article is giving quite a few people some trouble. First, while I at least see you seem to have some general idea how to use an infobox, the best infobox on the fanon, as far as I am concerned, is right here, I would suggest making use of it. Okay, now, for...everything else here. While it's not truly my job here, I'm taking a look at the appearance and personality for the benefit of you. The appearance...I suppose is passable, but could definitely use more. While appearances are never my forte, I would try and put some effort into it, why not describing the physical aspects of Rilien, as opposed to merely his attire? His personality...that definitely needs more. Once again, those are never my forte, but a personalties are meant to show us what goes on in the character's mind, how they react to things, what they think of the world, etc. Without the personality, there's really nothing to a character. Okay, your abilities section is formatted terribly. Not only that, there is no detail to his abilities, no "meat" if you will. One or two sentences is not enough to truly give any reader a feel for what the character can do. You'll need to actually detail these abilities efficiently, and for advise on how to do that, please see here. I see you mention a "Flash-Sword Style". Creating your own styles of combat are fine, I did that with Itsuka, however, like I just said, go into detail about it. How does it work, what are they key points, what makes it different from a sword-style like kendo, etc? However, even then there are some abilities that need to be fixed. "Illusion Step - The user is able to move with god-like speed, slashing and stabbing his opponent multiple times." "God-like" speed is not a terminology you can use, and not simply because of Zico's Deiphobia (closest term I have for fear/dislike of deities), but because just that ONE WORD sounds so ridiculously overpowered it's not even funny. If you want to capitalise on the fact that your character can be fast, alright. "Insane speed" would be a better substitute. The Energy Phoenix Armor..."it can cleave the sky and split the earth." I can understand wanting to sound strong, but a description like that is not gonna fly in case people take it literally. You'll have to fix that. Now, I believe I mentioned the formatting was off? To see how to properly format an article, go check out either Sanjo Vista or Wendy Marvell, two articles which show two different ways to format a magic and abilities section. I believe that covers everything, and I hope to see this article improved, and see you as a regular contributor.